the vase sits lonely on the wooden cabinet..a frail piece of plastic flower sits gingerly inside,as if marking the vase's incapability to support fresh life.just there for the sake of being "logical",but somehow makes the vase look lonely and weak.

back to camp in a couple of hours...i treasure my time..cos it's a gift of happiness.I heard someone mention pain...

current mood:moodless

great.I had this dream of getting scolded by the platoon sergeant for missing the PC interview...and lots of others I dun remember--|

Suddenly,I had this feeling of discomfort being alone...I wanted to watch the eye 2 alone for the midnight show..but the first thing i thought of was asking if alley wanted to watch it too..so strange..I'd be no problem if I were in the past..maybe i wouldn't even wanna watch a thing past midnite...But right now time is so uptight I'm splurging on lots of rubbish whenever I can...If I ever got confinement in camp or somehow have to stay back during the weekends I may go nuts..maybe I'll just shut my head into the window pane of my bunk and let it fall down the drain below
communication with my bunk mates aren't moving..only managed to get the attention of one of my buddies..at least we tok despite both of us being rather social phobic..it's rather ironic..the other buddy just seem more concerned with his friend collin in the next bunk...everything he does,he benefits.
when i think of all these now i'll just have that huge headache...almost like a nightmare I dun wanna remember...I dream so much of the outside world while I'm in there...but outside in the civillian world I seldom dream at all..so...alone.

The sweat down my eyes,replaces the tears from my heart...dunno what I'm feeling..dun wanna think about it...but my heart is heavy.I'm weak...no matter how much I tell myself i'm strong.
Physically I can't even pass my IPPT...what an idiot..
The word "useless" keep popping into my head..everything's so heavy..suddenly the friends I can turn to barely fills the number of fingers i have on one hand..shut up...i'm going to rest..

current mood:I dunno now

sick...down with fever AGAIN!! no mood to type...spoilt my whole day with my mum and sis at parkway parade on sat..
Strangely I got caught on dance hits..got heart attack 7 cos it's on 2nd hand but it wasn't opened.i got it at 7 bucks..i bought the best of 10 years dance earlier on..
Argh..I feel my life draining away from me~~

Here comes the part where my divination got overwhelmed by my thoughts..the fever I had blew me back into reality...
I never really broke them up..or maybe just a quarrel or something...I dun wanna care...ha how contradicting...No matter what..my life has their footprints and I can't erase

I won't forgive,I won't forget..I won't keep silent...

"If it's over let it go and come tmr it will seem so yesterday so yesterday...I'm just a bird that's already flown away...Laugh it off let it go and when u wake up it will seem so yesterday so yesterday..haven't u heard that I'm gonna be ok?"

yeah right....-_-

Current mood:Farmhouse cock

Learnt the chorus for SHE's Shi Mian Mai Fu
and Jolin's Hai Dao
hope I got chance to use them b4 I forget everything

Current mood:Frozen ashtray

Ok great...now I realise I broke them apart..what a sinner you would think...I approached the other guy and had some conversation about the 2 timing thing and being so much younger he's not as intellectually handicapped as I thought.Made it seem that the conversation would draw them together...but I realised that something happened between them..all cos of me...Happy?honestly I dun..Guilty?well...maybe..but from the way I see things I was just telling the truth..I can swear on it with a long growing wooden nose.
Maybe it's time dearest learnt a lesson.
As always,I'm that 10 fold mirror you know..dun fire at yourself
Whatever it is..things are just alright now..I dun care and dunno..my path is steep..it's time to sleep..and just wait for the construction workers to level my road before I move on.

On a train travelling at top speed would you ever notice how beautiful the dandelions are growing along the railway?

Haven't been blogging since i entered ns...Ns is great..helps me forget things..like an escape into prison..but i know there're things i can't escape...have to face them someday..
Finally found out the truth about the past..that someone who two timed me..I found out who the other guy is...Belle said not to dwell on the past...but I'm an archaeologist by nature..I have to find out...had a little talk...stupidly 2 timed for almost 8 months without knowing..Hate?maybe...but there's no room for that..for now..just happy...all my doubts cleared and pain numbed..Thanks to shun kun..thanks for everyone beside..
I dun have mood to break their relationship..but i found out what i wanted...guess most people dun understand why i wanna find the source of my pain so much..but ambiguity marks my discomfort.
Dun think you'll be reading this..but thanks for all the happy times..thanks for all the pain and deceit..thanks for making me realise i have a fault to play..thanks for being the lesson i had to learn..

ok come to ns...nothing much to say anyway...i guess i know why ns guys dun like to tok abt ns stuff..vulgarities,discipline,teamwork...3 words to mark my ns life.