Valentine's day...and the past is haunting me..how can we not even stay as friends?Can't even talk?I hate 2 timers..I dun have to ask to know...My cards tell me everything.I'm not satisfied with the answer: no feeling anymore..But that's a lie..and I know..sometimes I wished I don't but things just happen in my face that I have to realise the matter of it all...maybe I do wanna know...But why lie?I know more or less....I'd cast a revenge spell back on them?Haha I've not clicked so with Lucifer yet u know...Apollo knows me better...Oh well...you all think I will?If things were that simple and truthful,I won't.
Ano hito said:
Ore dake no hito gai ru gara
Ore wa ikiru
Anata gai nai no toki,totemo kanashii dayo
Dakara,zutto iishouni
Iishouni ikiru
Futari dake no sekai...Ikou ka?

On the back of my shirt that was my V day gift...Thing is...do I even have the power to answer this question?

Anyway today was lonely...though I somehow met up with Rish and himi and visited lester,something just feels weird..Just missing..I think I dunno what's the meaning of love anymore..I dun even know what is...
I'm just so empty...finding happiness from the tiniest of all things..but I'm glad,I told myself.
If one day your life weaves into complication would you escape or face it?

I've been facing them all these time..and I end up losing my innocent self to it.I'm such a complicated person now.I seem to get tuned to simple people easily..they remind me of my past.But thing is..being simple shows you've escaped...if one day someone reminds u of everything u wanted to hide,would the force take u aback?

Current mood:No way to say....

If i were to blog my feelings out now I'd say I'm confused...somewhat nervous,scared,worried and sad...I dun wan my ns life to be depriving my civilian life.Sometimes I wonder if I even have time to meet all of you guys...Haha but lucky thing I have few friends...To me friends are just friends..not those who come up to u and say hi and then a bye like that..friends are people you think of when you're doing something..it's something like your partner or date...just that the feeling's different.I'm proud to let you guys inside of my head knowing what sort of person I am..and I did enjoy knowing everyone..though not that close for some but it's enough..you dun have to dig into the center of the earth in one day you know?keke anyway...just been training hard...sometimes i wonder if i can even pass tha nafa test so I'd be able to be exempted for the PTP-6 whole weeks...oh well...i'll just have to try out the test next wed...if not no more chances le...
Suddenly I dun seem to have the urge to type my sorrows and discomfort here now..maybe it's not what i'm really feeling now..or maybe i'm just trying my best not to worry..I dun want my mum to..
I can imagine myself booking out and say"woh it's a relieve..ns was easier than i thought!"
It's a pain to think of my hair being cut off..botak...yucky term..it's starting to hurt already>_<

Hereby wishing everyone a happy V day...even if you all dun have a date,it's ok...cos it's a special day for me..never really mattered so much but I'll have to face reality that I'm alone now..I'm not bothered by it though..I tell myself not to.

Current mood:Flying on Lucifer's wings

Today was kinda fun...cos everyone was there for that battle royale cosplay..terence just become obsessed with his costume as usual,jim just tags along with our picture taking,parish was laughing and playing along despite the fact that she took 2 days without sleep doing our costumes...really grateful..lester was there too..but something feels amiss..guess he was kinda down the past few days and he's like trying not to spoil the mood..but when he believed he lost Elron's paper fan he's like guilty and all..but we couldn't find it...he stained his tailored blazer with fake blood as well..but hope i it would come off..wasn't cheap..
I just enjoyed the pics and all...i guessed most of us did..let's hope lester gets over his somewhat depressing period ba..
It was nice memories...darn..cosplays are giving me bitter after tastes..like sadness..nice memories always turn into sadness when u know u wanna get that scene back but can't..things wun be the same as the present.Maybe I'm psychologically mad haha but it's been like that since young...
The part when rish took our pics and went"if i dun take pics with u wait no chance le"or somehting like that makes me feel damn down...I hate farewells..I'd cry if i really go ns like that.
haha anyway this is the first time we took boy-boy yaoi pics!!parish almost nose bleed!!haha terence and jim,me and lester..haha maybe we'll all do it next time ya?haha

Somewhat Today

Today starts and happiness surrounds me
Today ends and the sadness binds me
When tomorrow comes
You know today remains
Those you've met once
Comes back tomorrow as pain
Tomorrow starts and sadness binds me
Tomorrow ends and the story repeats


this wasn't written today though...a few days ago perhaps...

The Withered Lover


What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
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Dun ask me why haha...but is weird though...got the same as my friend

Shadow

He goes
Shadow follows
Light shows
Shadow strong
Shadow follows
Where he goes
Shadow follows
What he does
When darkness falls
Shadow's gone
Shadow's in pain
He noticed non.

That's strange...we've only met for 2 days and seemed like ages..someone that special..
Feels like I'm falling into the person's world now...All the rare synchronities seem to hint something..
Same coloured characters we chose,same calbee corn snack i bought earlier,same favourite animes..It rocks.It just feels nice to let it happen...But why am I starting to like jap clothing as well...maybe I did like them..but now even more...

^^||haha need to correct myself here...it just happens to sound so sappy but it's actually just a close fren thingy

Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)


What Emotion Dominates you?
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