Teddy Hug
A hug heart to body
Or is it heart to heart?
But if you hug a teddy
The feeling it holds
Is same with anybody.

A hug soul to soul?
Or is it soul to body?
As long as you're holding something
The comfort it holds
Is the same with anybody.

Plants bleed too you know...I can smell them..

As I sit thinking about the times we've been thru over the last almost 2 years,all I can think of are those happy memories we've been thru.The smiles we shared,the games we've played,the places we've been and the photo cards we've taken...emotions just burst out like a over shaken champagne bottle full of sadness and rage...Lots of things in life are unfair I know..we did have a choice.I realise some things are not 1:1 but in odder ratios of 2:1.For that I'll take my steps of the chess my own way.Since I've lost this sequel I'm gonna make another one...It may take long but I dun mind the wait..just that everything's taken chunks of my hp away and my life is in critical mode now.Maybe I should learn healing spells to recover my hp ha...
The new year rain falls drastically,as if replacing me shedding my tears as I try my best to remove that happy mask I've been dying to discard...I can't.
Deeply cracked...

I browsed thru my collection of masks..somehow I seem to be wearing the happy mask most of the time..I dun have to put it on...It just appears when I speak to my friends.Somehow all my emotions just can't show themselves to them.My expression just stays the same.I would remove it occasionally but I do that when nobody's around.It's hard to take it off in front of people.I'm sick of it.But it just happens to be stuck on me.Sometimes it just shatters suddenly when sad songs are playing..or when I'm really pissed off by someone.Really as in REALLY.If not the mask wun break.I wonder if I appear as someone who's calm and centralised,someone who acts cool,someone who's quiet and reserved,or someone people dun give an extra look at.People wear masks too...especially when they wear happy masks.Some are so obvious you'd just wanna tell them to quit the act but you just can't.What is the distance we have to travel before we can reach someone's heart?But I suppose most of us has this powerful shield almost inpenetrable at the core of our hearts.Someone is bound to hurt another.Only we can protect ourselves..That is the law..

Thursday...I got an autograph from Tay Ping Hui!!That's really cool.He came into my shop with a friend and sat.I gave him that edo namecard to sign on cos I din bring any books along..He had that surprised look when I asked him to sign haha..Tall fella..and big too..maybe it's a dream to be like him.An actor?maybe haha got part of his charisma can liao.Btw he's born in the year of the dog too..12 years older than me now he should be around 33yrs old.That was really my lucky day to be THAT close to my idol haha

Weird...just realised after that cosplay shot of a basilisk from the pet shop of horrors,and after browsing thru that vcd,that people look really great with eye masks on..well not that I'm attratced to that girl who cosplayed that blindfolded basilisk..though she's quite pretty.there's a sort of mysterious feeling about blindfolds..something that makes u wanna see that person's eyes..i guess it's the feeling eve got when she tried to take a bite outta the apple.though an apple's a magical fruit it's reputation's ruined by this fiction..
well..i'd wish i'd never have to see the person's eyes..cos they quite often leak hostile emotions and I dislike that.Come to think of it I love those faceless mannequins they use for display in shopping arcades...yeah and those with their top cut off in hang ten shops..
Almost like some silence beauty...i guess to get blindfolded gets u into a panic whirl or a calm heart.
Nevermind..think I'm getting a hospital check in..